Recently I've felt very torn between my passions and what's considered "acceptable" in society
around me. We wake up, we check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and we see dozens of the exact
same things, images of perfection, whether it be a group of girls partying decked out with the latest
fashion trends (black everything, chokers, and dark lips) or perfectly clean workspaces or coffee
shops displaying an image of productivity and success.
Things like this have stopped me from expressing my true self upon the platforms I use. My entire
life I've felt the need to hide the parts of me that aren't considered "cool" a.k.a my love for A Song Of
Ice And Fire, my vine channel where I posted short video edits, and most of all the novel I wrote
which I poured my heart and soul into.
Personally, I see myself as somewhere between a "typical girl" and a flat out nerd. I can tell you off in
High Valyrian if you get dirt on my Kate Spade bag. But for some reason, the image I always chose
to put forward was the one that was much more socially acceptable; the one that I knew wouldn't give
me weird looks or have people talking about me behind my back saying "wow, that girl is a lot
weirder than I thought. She thinks she's an author."
What broke me completely free from this mentality was a recent (unfortunate) situation I went
through. I found out that one of my friends (whom I'd only ever been nice to) had been telling other
people to not be friends with me. At first I was completely crushed. Why would she say that about
me? What did I do wrong? Why don't people actually like me? I spent some time mulling over it, and
one day it really started to depress me. It was then, like some kind of sign from above, that multiple
important things occurred to me.
1. I realized that even while being the person I thought everyone wanted me to be, people still
wouldn't always like me.
2. I was so sweetly approached by several of my friends (who knew that I was upset) and they tried
their best to make me feel loved and wanted.
3. I realized that I had a world inside me that wanted to break free. Why not just let it?
So I did.
I created a Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/emilybuck) and shared it on my Facebook and
Twitter. I let everyone on my personal networks know that I was really a HUGE nerd, and spent my
time writing a medieval fictional fantasy story. The response I got was incredible.
So many friends who I hadn't talked to in years liked my post, even shared my post to their own
page! I got several messages of people telling me how cool it was and that they wanted to read my
book!! Pinch me, is this real life??? And the best part? I can't even hear the people muttering under
their breath saying how strange I am, because I'm just too happy and preoccupied with being myself.
I also noticed through the response, that I inspired other people to do the same. Everyone wants to get
out of the vicious circle of posting the illusion of a "perfect life". People want to post the things
they're proud of but they're too afraid of being judged for it. But when they see other people doing it,
they then realize that they can do it too! I hope that this post inspired you to not be afraid of being
yourself, because you are special, unique, and talented in your own way.
Don't let anything stop you from shining!
Emily xx
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